Friends and Family
I think once our coursework was over at the end of 2005 I realized a couple of things – how long I’d pretty much locked myself in and not been out very much, seen more on msn than on the street – plus I must admit, how nice it was to have had company at home for the first year of the masters. However now the company is far away and my thesis is ever closer. The team support we had through our coursework is absent now – I think there may be some validity to creating artificial teams just to have a reason to touch base with other classmates. It shouldn’t matter about the topics and how much we might know about them – outside eyes and ears can only be constructive. Good friends are near, although at times seem distant. Is it because they don’t realize I still need them, or because they are trying to give me space? I need time but I also need understanding. New friends are emerging who are providing a comfortable balance of hospitality and thesis-enforcement. Fortunately I consider eating a reason to be social and stay away from my desk, but I should probably curb my cinematic presence a little. There is validity to spending socially active time to recharge and reinspire, as book-shaped heads aren’t happy heads, but blurry movie eyes could probably re-focus to a DVD in-house nearer the computer!
With the classmates I do keep in touch with even occasionally it is great to make connections - if we are truly all about education and communications we need to break the mold and share more and talk more, etc. I visited J1 and we hashed through frustrations and successes. B shared a great book resource with me. Talking to F or P, we realize all of us have just as much in common as we did 2 years ago when we started this. Just because T or V or N or J2 are at different stages doesn’t make our relationships or issues any less important. Bumping into E even briefly was an inspiration in itself – positive energy simply flowed out of her!
Family has been an occasional factor – I have a close family, some of whom live close, but we mostly communicate by phone and email. My brother even has a blog -- he is actually the first person I knew who had a blog. He is writing a historically accurate novel and is diarizing his writing process. He tends to have more personal information about his daily life mixed in, but we are following parallel tracks about the trials of writing. One main difference is that I have an endpoint and a cost, and he does not. His book will be done when it is done, and my thesis draft is due in May! I find it interesting to realize we share some similar frustrations, and lack of inspiration, and distractions. My sister and I love to talk so I have to keep a check on the number of our conversations as they can drag hours away into the time vacuum. I think a highly productive time is coming up as she is going away to Europe and my movie buddy is also going on vacation. One friend is already away in Asia, and work travel seems to be slowing down. I can hope anyway.
Further to the family issue, my grandmother is also an indirect factor as she loses her mind – dementia, not Alzheimers, is the current diagnosis. Seems to recognize me when I visit but yet isn’t sure of the difference in safety between seeing a white man or a red hand at the crosswalk. This understandably concerns my mother, aunt, cousins, and other family members to varying degrees which require varying degrees of family attention. I also want to visit her more, but then fear she won’t remember or will be belligerent making for a less than pleasant visit. I have lovely small nieces and even though the light at the end of the thesis tunnel should be within a couple of months, I hate to sacrifice key events like First Birthdays (they only happen once!) and a story or bedtime just for some words on a page (aka thesis). I will say spending time with my parents is always lovely and the ferry ride provides awesome dedicated time where aside from looking out the window, I find it easy to focus on writing or transcribing or reading. I am thankful for a laptop to allow me to be as flexible as possible in my location at least.
At the same time, I do realize that I also only get once chance with my thesis – and it is starting to sink in (yes, mid-April) that I really must crack on it. I have moments of great inspiration that occur right before a work meeting, right as I step on a bus, right as I sit down to dinner…I need to figure out how to channel those to when I’m sitting here at my desk?? Then the non-desk time can be freely spent on friends and family. Let alone the incentive of non-thesis time once it’s done – VACATION!!
With the classmates I do keep in touch with even occasionally it is great to make connections - if we are truly all about education and communications we need to break the mold and share more and talk more, etc. I visited J1 and we hashed through frustrations and successes. B shared a great book resource with me. Talking to F or P, we realize all of us have just as much in common as we did 2 years ago when we started this. Just because T or V or N or J2 are at different stages doesn’t make our relationships or issues any less important. Bumping into E even briefly was an inspiration in itself – positive energy simply flowed out of her!
Family has been an occasional factor – I have a close family, some of whom live close, but we mostly communicate by phone and email. My brother even has a blog -- he is actually the first person I knew who had a blog. He is writing a historically accurate novel and is diarizing his writing process. He tends to have more personal information about his daily life mixed in, but we are following parallel tracks about the trials of writing. One main difference is that I have an endpoint and a cost, and he does not. His book will be done when it is done, and my thesis draft is due in May! I find it interesting to realize we share some similar frustrations, and lack of inspiration, and distractions. My sister and I love to talk so I have to keep a check on the number of our conversations as they can drag hours away into the time vacuum. I think a highly productive time is coming up as she is going away to Europe and my movie buddy is also going on vacation. One friend is already away in Asia, and work travel seems to be slowing down. I can hope anyway.
Further to the family issue, my grandmother is also an indirect factor as she loses her mind – dementia, not Alzheimers, is the current diagnosis. Seems to recognize me when I visit but yet isn’t sure of the difference in safety between seeing a white man or a red hand at the crosswalk. This understandably concerns my mother, aunt, cousins, and other family members to varying degrees which require varying degrees of family attention. I also want to visit her more, but then fear she won’t remember or will be belligerent making for a less than pleasant visit. I have lovely small nieces and even though the light at the end of the thesis tunnel should be within a couple of months, I hate to sacrifice key events like First Birthdays (they only happen once!) and a story or bedtime just for some words on a page (aka thesis). I will say spending time with my parents is always lovely and the ferry ride provides awesome dedicated time where aside from looking out the window, I find it easy to focus on writing or transcribing or reading. I am thankful for a laptop to allow me to be as flexible as possible in my location at least.
At the same time, I do realize that I also only get once chance with my thesis – and it is starting to sink in (yes, mid-April) that I really must crack on it. I have moments of great inspiration that occur right before a work meeting, right as I step on a bus, right as I sit down to dinner…I need to figure out how to channel those to when I’m sitting here at my desk?? Then the non-desk time can be freely spent on friends and family. Let alone the incentive of non-thesis time once it’s done – VACATION!!
posted by MightyBrownOwl at 8:43 p.m.
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