Oops, there it went
Ah deadlines. For me, they come, and then they go. And as they pass by I wonder, was that my own self-imposed deadline or did someone actually want something from me? Why do I make them only to blow through? I could have sworn the end of May was some kind of RRU-type deadline I was working towards…but it passed without much fanfare. I know I’m in the middle of the pack in terms of what I’ve done and have yet to do, and that the responsibility for this lies with me, the oh-so-mature masters’ student paying her own tuition, but still?! Should I revise my schedule, create a new one, or just get the manifesto done? So there it is – only a half-done thesis, a mad crazy life ramping up again as it and I anticipated being finished, but I guess in the long term schedule of thing I didn’t build enough life-contingency plan time in. So now it’s a worse juggle than it’s ever been as there is an ultimate vacation deadline looming after residency this summer, and I don’t intend to be doing my thesis on vacation! […famous…last…words….]
I feel inspired again, and it’s not just the caffeinated lifeblood running through me, but outreach on the part of classmate B for a “check-in” just when I think many of us needed it most. We are in the countdown to our final residency, our final week, our final course, our final “summer camp” together…while under pressure to produce some part of a thesis and juggle our lives to allow us to get there. So when I got B’s message I thought AHA! Someone has been clever, and then the responses started coming in. Hello everyone! I’ve missed you! Those of you who I have been in touch with, great to hear from you; those who have been quieter – you are still thought of, I promise. We’re all here for each other and that’s been the greatest part of the whole masters experience.
My frustration over the last few weeks, although mostly with myself, has been partly with the work remaining. In my mind, what I wanted out of RRU and this endeavour I have already achieved – the results of research (even if still only in my head), the learning (academic), the learning (balance), the learning (self-reflection), the experience, but most importantly the friendships and the memories – that I already have. The product, some pieces of paper with printer ink in some retarded APA format, is not what I need to feel that I’ve accomplished a great thing. Perhaps my rebellion against “the man” so to speak is a byproduct of rebellion against constantly “feeding the beast” of Ottawa government process, I don’t know. However I do know I must and will finish this thesis if not for myself for everyone else who has invested in me and who want me to succeed with that tangible product!
On that note, retiring for the night to attack coding and categorizing another day. Be well, everyone! Love you and miss you.
“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”- John Muir
and,
:) power to the worm ~~~
I feel inspired again, and it’s not just the caffeinated lifeblood running through me, but outreach on the part of classmate B for a “check-in” just when I think many of us needed it most. We are in the countdown to our final residency, our final week, our final course, our final “summer camp” together…while under pressure to produce some part of a thesis and juggle our lives to allow us to get there. So when I got B’s message I thought AHA! Someone has been clever, and then the responses started coming in. Hello everyone! I’ve missed you! Those of you who I have been in touch with, great to hear from you; those who have been quieter – you are still thought of, I promise. We’re all here for each other and that’s been the greatest part of the whole masters experience.
My frustration over the last few weeks, although mostly with myself, has been partly with the work remaining. In my mind, what I wanted out of RRU and this endeavour I have already achieved – the results of research (even if still only in my head), the learning (academic), the learning (balance), the learning (self-reflection), the experience, but most importantly the friendships and the memories – that I already have. The product, some pieces of paper with printer ink in some retarded APA format, is not what I need to feel that I’ve accomplished a great thing. Perhaps my rebellion against “the man” so to speak is a byproduct of rebellion against constantly “feeding the beast” of Ottawa government process, I don’t know. However I do know I must and will finish this thesis if not for myself for everyone else who has invested in me and who want me to succeed with that tangible product!
On that note, retiring for the night to attack coding and categorizing another day. Be well, everyone! Love you and miss you.
“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world.”- John Muir
and,
:) power to the worm ~~~
posted by MightyBrownOwl at 1:45 a.m.
1 Comments:
Come on Lisa, you are almost there. Get to it.
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